Updated: Jul 28
Written by: T.M. Brunson
As a person of color, I am very cognizant of not trying to hold people back from shining and flourishing. For me, it's all about the "come up"—helping others to rise instead of bringing them down. It's a good feeling. Don't think of it as someone being better than you, but as someone making you look better/be better because you're associated with them.
As I've gotten older, I've learned about who to keep in my inner circle. I reject negative energy and try not to associate or give too much of my energy to anyone or anything that is not a positive force in my life. It's actually something that I learned from an old friend of mine and it still resonates with me today.
FROM ENTRE- TO AMI-PRENEURS
Here, at AllMommyIssues.com, we want to highlight our All Mommy Issues entrepreneurs, or, as I like to call them, AMI-preneurs, so that more people can see the fabulous work that you do! And you know that you don't have to be a biological mom to be a part of the AMI village, right? You can be an auntie, a grandma, a cousin, a close friend, or anyone who is a positive influence on our younger generation. So, basically, you need to be a woman.
And there are so many of you who do great things! From television directors to doctors to marketing consultants to designers to health and fitness coaches...we've got it all!
If you have your own business, I want to have a quick chat with you, LIVE on our FB group, so that all of us can be aware of a service that you're providing. You wouldn't believe our village on our FB page and our FB group—we are hundreds of women STRONG!
Please reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know when you're ready for a LIVE chat. No need to be nervous! You are fabulous and I want to share your fabulous-ness with our village!
WHAT WOMEN DO
And strong, we are. As women, we do so much for others. We make sure our loved ones are protected during a pandemic. We do more for others more than we do for ourselves. It's just in our nature, as women. We nurture by default.
It wasn't until post-40 did I even start to think about self-care. And I don't know about you, but I have to consciously say to myself, "No, I'm not going to get this for so and so. Let me take the time to do something for me." So, (almost) every morning, I get up and walk/jog for 30 min-one hour. It's my time to think, to pray, to meditate, get my body moving, and to focus on the day ahead.
As women, we teach our village of boys and girls about how to protect themselves in this world—whether it'd be from being safe in a world post-George Floyd, or safe from predators post #metoo, safe from child traffickers, molesters, bullies, or etc.
This is why it's so important that we surround ourselves with people who we know and trust and it's why we teach our loved ones how to recognize when people don't have their best interests at heart.
We can't always keep them in a protective bubble. We have to learn to let go and experience life on their own at some point. We just need to arm them with the right tools and the right street smarts to recognize danger.
During a pandemic, most of us have had to become teachers. I've spoken to so many women who have had full-time jobs on top of teaching children during the day. So, essentially, we've had to become teachers' assistants.
And, I don't know about you, but trying to remember their virtual class schedules on top of my own work meetings became a daunting task!
I would forget to sign in my kids at least two times a week (for attendance purposes)!
I've, mostly, had to leave them on their own which taught them how to be self-sufficient. But what about those kids who need more structure?
What about those kids who need more guidance during the day? How do parents do it? How do we women do it?
Lastly, we've had to become cheerleaders. We not only have had to try to remain positive, mentally, during this global pandemic for ourselves, but for our children and our loved ones surrounding us.
High school seniors have had to graduate without going through rites of passage like a senior prom and/or a senior trip. I remember mine so vividly. I went to two senior proms; and my senior trip was the first time that I went on "vacation" on my own without my parents. I got to go to DisneyWorld. Some students didn't even get to walk across a stage to get their diploma.
Our kinders didn't get their graduation into first grade. Our pre-k's didn't get to officially be promoted to kindergarten. Our eighth graders weren't publicly acknowledged as being promoted to high school. We spent countless dollars for our loved ones to go to college and we don't get to see them in their cap and gown to get their degree? To take a line from my girls, "It's not fair!"
These might not seem like big things to us; but they are certainly big things to our students. These kinds of things are going to take a toll, mentally, on our loved ones. We just don't know to what extent yet.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Know that you are doing a GREAT job! You are learning how to take baby-steps towards self-care. You are doing what you need to do to get things done.
I am so grateful that @allmommyissues can be a place for all of us to vent our frustrations and to work out any issues that we might be having. We are all here for each other as a sounding board or to vent because I guarantee you that another woman in our village has gone through what you're going through.
QUESTION OF THE DAY
What is one thing that you have accomplished for yourself since March 2020?
I take time, every day, to walk/jog or do some form of body movement for at least 30 minutes to one hour.
Please post your accomplishment @allmommyissues.