Updated: Jun 12
Written by: T.M. Brunson
Yes, I will do a Zoom meeting on the toilet.
Recently, I was talking to a friend about my "sanctuary." Many people find solace in "she-caves." I don't have one. Other people find solace in yoga classes or exercise classes. I used to do those things when I lived in California; but, I haven't found that since I moved back to New Jersey.
Even as I write this post, #4 is running back and forth across the room, #6 is crying, #3 is complaining that #5 is kicking her on the bed, #2 is tattling on #3 about leaving a light on, and #1 is on the computer next to me doing something quick.
Five minutes is all it took for me to yell for EVERYONE to get out. I took the baby, sat her up, and she burped.
“I'm holding her with one arm and typing this with one hand. #Multitasking. That's the story of my life.”
Usually, my sanctuary is the bathroom. Don't think that I have a great big bathroom with a tub with jets. That's not the case. My sanctuary is sitting on the toilet, even when i don't have to go, because it's the only room in my house where i can get some peace.
Yes, I may have little hands creeping up under the door, or the rampant knocking and calling of my name even though their daddy is about 10 feet away from them—but I can tune them out. Unless someone is bleeding or choking, something is broken, or something/someone is on fire, I am GOOD.
" I can hear my grandmother's voice in my head telling me not to sit on the toilet for too long because I will get hemorrhoids. But it's a risk I'm willing to take—sometimes (because hemorrhoids are a b!&$h!)."
So what do I think about when I'm in my sanctuary? I think about things I want to do for myself. Like why do I always wait a year to go to the spa when it makes me feel so good to get a massage? And, actually, I haven't been to get a massage since I moved to NJ—so I'm going on 2.5 years. Who waits that long to do something that makes them feel good?
I think about what movies I want to see. I think about getting organized. I think about how I would get organized. I watched two episodes of Marie Kondo's new Netflix show and it gave me some ideas. I think about blogging. Do you know how many years it took me to actually start this blog? I've had the idea forever. I just needed to sit and take the time to do it.
Whenever I do have time, all I want to do is sleep...or I need to do laundry. I have a newborn, a kid who pees on herself, and a pre-teen who doesn't smell so great (we are working on stressing the importance of hygiene and self-care). I have six kids, something is bound to fall by the wayside. We try to keep them healthy and eating (somewhat) right, challenge their minds in different ways.
But sometimes, yes, I lose my cool. I'm not always the patient mom that everyone sees. I endeavor to be. I truly do. But I have my moments. So, during those times, I retreat to the one place that brings me a few minutes of peace. And, right now, that's sitting on the toilet in the bathroom.
- Tiesha Brunson