By: T.M. Brunson
I stayed in bed ALL day. It was not planned—in fact, I had a list of things to do: laundry, dishes, disinfecting (Covid is real), grocery shopping, and etc. However, the pain in my back had other ideas.
So I popped a muscle relaxer (thanks, Doc!) and brought out my old friend, the heating pad. This made me think about my friend who let me borrow it a while ago. I wondered how she was doing because I hadn't texted her since (looking at my phone) OCTOBER! How in the world did five months pass by already? I mean, we interact over Facebook; but a text/phone call is more personal.
I grabbed my phone and shot her a text to just check in. She messaged me right back. It was so good to hear from her and to know that she's doing fairly well.
Right before that whole exchange, I just finished watching the Sex and the City series (for the umpteenth time!). I was on the final episode. But no matter how many times I have seen it, I cry at the same two parts—when Miranda tells Big, "Go get our girl" and when Carrie arrives back in NYC and sees her friends at the restaurant.
Those were her GIRLS. Their friendship was amazing. The highs. The lows. Through it all, their friendship remained tight and strong. I have friends like that.
In fact, there are four of us, as well. One I've known all my life. And two others who I met in high school.
These three women are my anchors. They keep me grounded—in fact, we keep each other grounded. And we all have our different strengths. And no matter what each of us was going through in life, no matter how far apart we were, we were there for each other. From car accidents, to having babies, adoption, a cheating spouse, a crisis of faith, depression, a new job, a big move, a new car, a close death in the family—we've always had each other's backs.
In fact, I tried to figure out who each of us were in comparison to the SATC ladies. I think I started out as a Samantha and ended up a Carrie.
And it's very rare that we are all in the same state, at the same time. (Two of them live in two different states and myself and another live on the opposite ends of New Jersey—which might as well be two different states!)
The last time we were all together was seven years ago. Wow...it doesn't even seem that long ago. (I've had two more kids since then!). Sometimes, three of us will be in the same state and we will Facetime the fourth, just so we can all "be" together. And we pick up right where we left off—as if no time has passed at all.
This kind of friendship is hard to come by—even rare. I have other friends (we all do) that we interact with on a daily basis. And, it seems odd that none of us knows much about these other ladies in our lives because when the four of us come together we are in the moment and happy to see each other.
At times, we do a group video chat on WHATSAPP so we can see and talk to each other at the same time. We also have a group text chat to keep tabs on everyone's well-being.
FRIEND VS ACQUAINTANCE
I have never had a problem having male friends; but having girlfriends are pretty special. I have high school friends, college friends, and friends, in general. I have a few work acquaintances who have developed into true friendships.
I remember in high school, friendships were important. I went to an all-girls high school and our school was very clique-ish. Who you hung around with pretty much solidified how popular you were.
What's crazy is that, today, I'm better friends with some of the girls from the other cliques than we used to be back then!
Once we were reunited on Facebook, it was like no time had passed. And, a lot of us met up in 2018 (or early 2019)—before the pandemic. It wasn't planned out far in advance, just an impromptu "let's get together" type of reunion at a restaurant.
And when I tell you that we all screamed each and every time someone we knew walked in, just like Carrie's girlfriends screamed when they saw her walk into the restaurant in "An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux"... My face hurt by the end because I was smiling so much.
We all caught up—who was still married, who was divorced, or on the verge of getting a divorce; who had kids, who lived where, who worked where... we chatted like the high-school versions of ourselves.
THE AMI VILLAGE
One of the reasons that I founded All Mommy Issues is so that we could build our village and help each other—especially during this time of quarantining, being home, virtual learning, having to juggle work and home, having to figure out being furloughed or unemployed...
Having a village is so important to me. When I lived in California, I felt so alone. Back then, I was raising five kids, with a husband, and rarely went out and did anything for myself. Now, I'm a single mother, raising six kids, and now have the luxury of having "me" time. However, when I have an issue or can help other mothers/mom-figures/women, in general, with any of their issues, I know who to turn to—the AMI Facebook group.
There are women from all walks of life in this group. Women trying to have kids, or who have had kids already, and women who have decided not to have kids at all. And I learn from all of their experiences. I appreciate every single person in this group. Sharing experiences in a safe space is really important to me. I thank you.
If you are not a part of the AMI Facebook group, please consider joining this beautiful and diverse village of women @allmommyissues.com
QUESTION OF THE DAY
We moms go through every issue with our kid(s)—all mommy issues. AMI is here to support and inspire all mother figures—mommies, aunties (play or biological), godmommies, grandmommies, and everyone in between! Everything is up for no-holds-barred mommy talks while we embrace our issues, overcome insecurities while supporting others, and empower each other and those not-so-little versions of ourselves.
What kinds of issues would you liked to see discussed in the All Mommy Issues group? Please email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your ideas can remain anonymous.