It has been a really long time since I've written. There is no excuse. Life happened. You all know how "life be lifin'." Work issues. Home issues. All Mommy issues. I didn't even have it in my to post about it. I don't think I was depressed...just...detached.
Now I'm ready to dive back in and hope I still have an audience who wants to listen. Just to reintroduce myself: I'm a full-time working, single mom who has six girls.
Yes, you read correctly...SIX GIRLS. Now you see how life happened? I have the whole K-12 spectrum living under one roof.
I've got one kid who's getting ready for college and wants a good job but is slow-moving on the process to get there. I am not my mom. Times are different. I will not force or nag or badger you to make sure you get to where I think you should be. I will nudge; but you've got to really want it. I've got teens who test my patience. I've got sensitive kids. Affectionate kids. Feisty kids.
I'm tired. Even as I write this. I'm so tired. I had one kid home sick today. I have to pick up three more from school. One is at her first basketball game and I have to pick her up later. Another will go to aftercare. Pick her up later. Still need to figure out dinner. Lysol the house from the sick child. Separate clean clothes and have the girls put them away. Get them to get their clothes ready for tomorrow. Showers. I'm scheduled to go to the gym tonight. Shower. Bed times. Rinse and repeat.
ME TIME
My "me time" gets fewer and farther in between. I used to get regular massages but money is tight. I used to get my nails done every month. Now my budget says, "No can do!" I used to travel more often but... are you noticing the pattern? It doesn't preclude me from talking about my amazing adventures. From California to St. Thomas to St. John to Florida to Georgia to Tulum to North Carolina to Cancún to Playa del Carmen to Tulum, back to Cali, and finally to Barcelona.
I had a good time reconnecting with friends, going to beaches, exploring new places, new restaurants, new people... I went to a nude beach in Spain and went topless. I felt so liberated!
Now, I will be lucky if I can get it in when I fit it in.
I have new girlfriends and old girlfriends and a select few male friends who have made my life very interesting. Sometimes we just watch tv or have game nights... it just helps to have people in my village who understand my life without me having to explain it to them.
I've also turned my "me time" into something that will benefit me in the long run. I joined a gym and began working out. That, coupled with other efforts to benefit my health, afforded me the opportunity to drop 44lbs. I don't look forward to working out but I like the results. I still have a little ways to go, but I'm excited to get to the finish line.
GOING OUT? WHAT'S THAT?
Speaking of... my social life has been interesting. No one ever told me, while I was growing up, that people exit your life for circumstances beyond your control. And, I'm not talking about death either. People just ghost you—for reasons that I am not privvy to know. I lost a friend last year and another one this year. It's crazy. I wish someone, other than my therapist, prepared me for people being in your life only for certain seasons.
Also, I thought I wanted to be in a relationship, but I not so quickly realized that I didn't. It took a few dates for me to realize that co-parenting, my girls, and getting my life in order with just with a sprinkle of going out take up a lot of my time.
Plus, my girls have more of a social life than I do! I am their designated UBER driver from school to afterschool activities to social events... That's all I do—live in my car—because they always need to be picked up or dropped off somewhere. Thank goodness I work remotely because my laptop and I are joined at the hip.
ALL OF OUR ISSUES
I was going to wait until the new year to resurrect All Mommy Issues (AMI); but I asked myself, "Why wait?" Just do it. There are so many things happening in the world and tomorrow is not promised.
Plus, my creative team and I had the pleasure of interviewing therapist, Danielle Long, almost a year ago. I have been in contact with so many peope who have put their mental health first and those who haven't. It's so sad to see how many people struggle every single day with just the will to be alive. I should've shared this podcast a long time ago, so there's no good time like the present.
I am all about work/life balance and taking mental health days. I encourage it for my staff, for my friends, and my family. One time, during my staff retreat, I brought in the massage therapist that we interviewed, Marcel Smith from Table 2 You. He gave each of my staff chair massages that they greatly appreciated. Other departments were jealous. I was just trying to keep my staff relaxed and happy.
So, to overcome my issue of being gone from you for so long, I am just diving right back into it. Enjoy AMI and I look forward to connecting with all of you very soon.