• All Mommy Issues

AllAboutLeavingThatDoorOpen

By: T. M. Brunson


I grew up watching a lot of television and listening to a lot of music. It's no wonder that I ended up becoming a radio host in college and pursuing a career in television. Music and tv dictated my life. I would schedule classes around tv shows that I watched; and music...well, let's just say that I can associate songs to particular events and people who are in my life.


So when I first heard the new song by Anderson .Paak, Bruno Mars, and Silk Sonic, "Leave the Door Open," it immediately gave me that old-school vibe that brought me back to those simple times when music lyrics actually meant something.


Yes, some people believe they were high when they wrote it because they sang, "If you're hungry, girl, I got filets;" but, to me, the lyrics were just a metaphor for everything else in life.


If you want to do something different, you have to be willing to be open to new things. Open up a new chapter in your life. Open up the door. Leave it open. Be willing to let someone new into your life. Be willing to do something different. Hit different. And that's exactly what I think about when I hear this song now.


When I first heard it, it made me want to call one of my old friends to share my new "find." We always shared new music and analyzed the meanings behind the lyrics and etc.


I know my kids are tired of me blasting it in the car. They put their heads down and ask, "Can you please close the windows?"


Yeah, I'm that mom.

The Past


I've been wanting to write since last week, but...life. You all get it. Enough said.

I have noticed that some of my friends can cut people out of their lives so easily, while others, like me, struggle to find the balance of cutting out negative/toxic people and keeping people who have had a major impact on my life.


This week, I reconnected with an old friend and really dug deep into the end of our relationship. So much so that we are planning to write a book together about it to help others who might find themselves in similar situations.


Had I not gone through the things that I did with him, I would've never learned how to trust my gut (or even recognize that I had one) which helped me, years later, in another major situation.


A lot of people that I know cannot remain friends with their exes, but I do (sometimes). Yes, it might take time to get over whatever it was that was the catalyst for the breakup, but, eventually, we realize that we were friends, first, and sometimes you want to maintain that friendship.


The door remains left open—not to go back through it, but to just appreciate the friendship that still remains.

The Present


I dipped my toe into the "single" waters. Not sure I like how things have changed since the 90s. Guys don't talk on the phone anymore? They text? And they don't even text in a timely fashion? I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, but...



Earlier this week, I was cruisin with an acquaintance and "Leave the Door Open" came on. The whole vibe in the car changed and we both just started singing at the top of our lungs and doing old school moves while we sang. And now every time I hear this song, I associate it with him.


I might Ieave that door open—for now.

The Future


I was just telling my girlfriend, earlier, that I have to learn how to be still. With six kids, I'm always on the go. Always busy. Always doing something. Those times when I try to be still, someone usually needs me for something.


Or my phone rings.


And I normally don't ever turn my phone off because I am a communicator, in spirit and by trade. The one time I DID turn my phone off, it was because I needed to shut off from the world and SLEEP. My body was tired and it was screaming at me to rest.


So I listened.


I don't always get that luxury though—especially with my bunch. Anything could happen at any time and I need to be connected (especially since I don't have a landline).


But I'm kind of glad that I didn't turn off my phone tonight. I had a surprising conversation with someone. I don't know how it began or where it's going; but it was a cool convo...


...and that's all I'm gonna say about that for now.


Now about that door...






Jammin' to Pass the Mic


Earlier today, I was listening to Pass the Mic with DJ Cassidy and every throwback brought me back to a different period in my life. Does this ever happen to you?


Do you think about music and where you were and what you were doing at that moment when you heard a particular song?


Now don't get upset if I don't get the titles perfect. My friends always get on me about not knowing words to songs or changing things around.


  1. Ginuwine "Pony" - this song reminds me of my college roommate. I don't exactly remember for what reason, but something triggers me thinking about her when this song comes on and the face she used to make when dancing to it. LOL

  2. Montell Jordan "This is How We Do It" - definitely reminds me of the summer of '95 and the guy I was dating. It was my first time in Los Angeles, California. It was the year of O.J. The first year I started liking west coast rap. The year I felt like an adult. I was 20 years old. I was going into my senior year of college. I had no idea that I would endure a breakup by the end of the summer (because some guys just have problems with communicating). But that summer changed my life. It opened up my world to something other than the east coast. It's when I caught the bug to travel. The following year, I ended up going to Madrid.

  3. N.EX.T "Too Close" - this reminds me of a New York summer night. The year was 1997. I was somewhere dancing with my college roommate and a coworker from HBO (who I am still friends with today). I remember this song coming on and we had him sandwiched. He didn't know what to do! LOL

  4. Donell Jones "U Know What's Up" - People SLEPT on Donell Jones! I have loved his music for a long time. His music just reminds me of a happy time. It just so happens that the people I was hanging with last week was listening to his song "Where I Wanna Be" in a bar and we were singing. So his music still brings a smile to my face and makes me happy. 1999... I was living in MD. Cohabitating with my now ex-fiancé.

  5. Soul for Real "Candy Rain" - This song brings me back to a time when I was young and carefree. Missing Heavy D... RIP

  6. Carl Thomas "Wish I Never Met Her" - This song reminds me of my sister. Actually, anything by Carl Thomas reminds me of her because she was such a HUGE fan.

  7. Brownstone "If You Love Me" - I tagged this same acquaintance and he called me out on IG today asking me if I was trying to tell him something... can you believe that? This song came out at the beginning of my junior year in college. I remember my radio co-host and I playing this during our "quiet storm" entitled, A Quiet Time to Play. Shout out to Mr. Do Right!

  8. Adina Howard "Freak Like Me" - Back when this song came out, I couldn't believe they actually played this on the radio! Like when "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd came out... I used to sing that song... I was 16 years told and my late grandmother gave me a look, but didn't tell me and my late cousin (who was two years my junior) to turn it off. LOL Now look at what's on the radio now! (i.e. WAP) "Freak Like Me" came out during the summer of '95. I was in Cali—not knowing, then, that that trip would have me BACK out in Cali six years later for different reasons.

  9. Dru Hill "Sleeping in my Bed" - Even though this song came out in 2015, Dru Hill's music, in general, reminds me of my college roommate. Why? Not sure. Those college years are a little...fuzzy. LOL

  10. Gina Thompson "The Things That You Do" - Summer of '96. Why did I think a group sang this song? Maybe because Missy was rapping in it? Who knows. I had graduated college. I was interning at Cinemax. In NYC every day and hanging out with friends every night. Wouldn't get home until 1 or 2am every single night—just having FUN. And would get up by 6am to do it all over again the next day.

  11. 112 "Only You" - 1996. The end of senior year. When Biggie was alive. (2Pac was too!) Just feel-good music. Who knew things would change that fall when Pac was murdered and the next year when Biggie was too?

  12. SWV "Right Here" - 1992. Freshman year of college. New beginnings. SWV. TLC. They were the epitome of the 90s Hip Hop and R&B era (along with MJB).

  13. Wyclef Jean "Gone Till November" - I remember this song, but not as much as the others. Wyclef makes me think about Lauryn Hill, which makes me think about The Fugees and the GREAT music that they made together.


Question of the Day


Let me throw out a year...


1995.


What were you doing and what song do you associate with what you remember? Share with us on FB and IG @allmommyissues.


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